My Story to Write

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Low Places When you're at the bottom,
you have nowhere to go but up.
Or so I have been told
But no matter how hard I try
to believe this (and other "truths"),
I come up short 
I think the folks who say such things
have a generous / steady / reliable foundation
to build their sureness upon;
to know that, one brick at a time,
they'll make their way back up 
But my bedrock is pocked full of holes
that drain to low places I can't even see,
let alone imagine the very existence of 
I'm here at the bottom, aren't I?
Can't get lower than this, can I?
 Am I a fraud 
But this is the bottom, yes?
Truly rock-bottom, no? 
Am I actually a good person 
Then 
Do I make meaningful contributions 
Or 
Do I have any truly creative ideas or
are they all just shoddy copies

And 
Aren't I fated to die
a failure at any moment [inhale] 
leaving my child
without an advocate [exhale] 
without someone to show him
truly unconditional love [sigh] 
And in these withering moments of doubt
at the things I should know but impossibly can't
The alleged bottom drops out and I am left
to wonder if other people's low points
feel like just another Tuesday #mystorytowrite #lowplaces #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #anxiety #depression #panicdisorder #mentalillness #mentalhealth #linkinprofile
“Yet through the distance of time, you will always be that precious babe, looking on the world with new eyes and gracing us with light for the journey.” #mystorytowrite #fiveyearstime #letterstomyson #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #amwriting #motherhood #bittersweet #nostalgia #momsofinstagram #linkinprofile
“And their families, the one thing allowing them to maintain some semblance of continuity and normalcy from the life they left behind, are being brutally dismantled upon arrival.” #mystorytowrite #leavebehindeverythingyouknow #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #familiesbelongtogether #endzerotolerance #endfamilyseparation #linmanuelmiranda #intheheights #hamilton #change #empathy #immigration #immigrationreform #pathtocitizenship #socialjustice #linkinprofile
“Two glowing orbs track each other in the night A dance of light that plays upon the damp and misty gloaming As realization of a truth, known by few and all alike, We attach—and spark! And then ignite” #mystorytowrite #sacred #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #intimate #fire #relationships #love #linkinprofile
“And as I shrink, the space for me becomes smaller, too. Less capacity for my ribcage to expand fully; less room for my dreams to lay like pages to be pored over and admired.” #mystorytowrite #shrinking #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #loneliness #depression #mentalhealth #mentalillness #linkinprofile
"Each measured beat grows in my ears like a siren’s blare roaring out into the night, a rush of wind and ocean crashing within me." #mystorytowrite #shatteredglass #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #anxiety #panic #panicattack #panicdisorder #mentalillness #mentalhealth #linkinprofile
"I caught glimpses of the world seen through your eyes. The bright colors stung at first glance, but my eyes are adjusting and expanding my view." #mystorytowrite #puremagic #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #momsofinstagram #pureimagination #brightcolors #perspective #linkinprofile
"...reaching for puffs of air that whisper and swirl around us like ghosts." #mystorytowrite #tobecalledmother #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #momsofinstagram #linkinprofile
"We go through these infinite, tiny changes during the course of our lives that are too subtle to be defined, and yet they define who we are in every way." #mystorytowrite #sometimesyouneedtoletgo #transition #postmormon #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #singersongwriter #linkinprofile

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