When you're at the bottom, you have nowhere to go but up. Or so I have been told But no matter how hard I try to believe this (and other "truths"), I come up short I think the folks who say such things have a generous / steady / reliable foundation to build their sureness … Continue reading Low Places
writing
Five Years’ Time
Five years ago tonight, you were a new babe in my arms, fresh from an unknown place where life begins for some and ends for others. I could not have begun to imagine all the things you would do, all the ways you would learn and grow and change in such a short time. And while the … Continue reading Five Years’ Time
Leave Behind Everything You Know
Anyone who knows me knows how much I love Hamilton; the first time I heard it I couldn't get enough. I loved how cleverly the story of our nation's founding was woven into lyrics that were both relevant to current events and accessible to just about anyone who desired to listen—a modern lingua franca and Lin-Manuel … Continue reading Leave Behind Everything You Know
Sacred
Two glowing orbs track each other in the night A dance of light that plays upon the damp and misty gloaming As realization of a truth, known by few and all alike, We attach—and spark! And then ignite We move earnestly side-by-side in course, one fitting neatly against the other And as we move we … Continue reading Sacred
Shrinking
Every day I become a little smaller, by degrees. Infinitesimal amounts. Tiny shavings so insignificant you wouldn't notice. But I do. I feel it. In my bones; in my blood; in my breath; in my consciousness; in my being. And as I shrink, the space for me becomes smaller, too. Less capacity for my ribcage … Continue reading Shrinking
Shattered Glass
There is a tingle in my fingertips, a rhythmic shaking in my hands; nervous energy I cannot liberate. A flick of my wrist, a crack in my bones—a short-lived release; one, two, three breaths of freedom—a temporary reprieve. But the fear of death is inside of me and I cannot shake it, and I cannot hide from … Continue reading Shattered Glass
Pure Magic
Today we flew all the way to school, the whooshing sounds of our flight filling the car for miles. I caught glimpses of the world seen through your eyes. The bright colors stung at first glance, but my eyes are adjusting and expanding my view. Tomorrow the robots will come and take us on a … Continue reading Pure Magic
To Be Called Mother
Happiness is fleeting; we must grab it boldly with both hands and hang on for dear life. All too often it slips through our fingertips and we are left, reaching for puffs of air that whisper and swirl around us like ghosts. Try as we might, we can never will those moments of pure joy to stick … Continue reading To Be Called Mother
Sometimes You Need to Let Go
I have been keeping a not-so-hidden secret. I'm sure anyone who's been paying attention to my Facebook posts the last several years won't be surprised to learn (officially) that I no longer affiliate myself with the LDS church. This has been a long time coming (this year it'll be three years since I stepped foot in … Continue reading Sometimes You Need to Let Go
Try
I can't say enough how much I love this video and the positive body image message it portrays. I love this message so, so much, but it has taken me years to internalize it. I think the change really broke through when I became a mom and I had to realize that the babe doesn't … Continue reading Try
My Story to Write 